MHI: A Photo Essay By Condiment

This is a picture of McCracken explaining the rules to the 14-player field.



This is a picture of Batgirl's scientifically impossible 5-7-10 split. We all know that matter cannot go through matter--that two solids cannot occupy the same space--but this picture don't lie, kids. Batgirl's ball enters a wormhole and reappears somewhere behind the 5-pin. Batgirl also prevails in the first ever TIE GAME RESOLVED BY SUDDEN DEATH and converts a nifty 4-7-10 split in a later game!



This is a picture of Beefcake losing his will to live.



This is a picture of Condiment being consoled (or mocked, more probably) by The Mouth. Condiment is a non-factor, finishing a lackluster 5/6, making his patented Choke-N-Melt superfluous.



This is a picture of Oofta feeling the weight of defeat pressing down. Oofta posts a mean, median, and mode of 132 pins, with a standard deviation of 1 pin. Oofta finishes 4th.



This is a picture of McCracken considering his fate. McCracken finishes 3rd, going home with an "I Fail At Bowling" cap.



This is a picture of Disqualification Row.



This is a picture of Particle Man employing his unorthodox but highly effective low-to-the-ground style. After a debilitating first-round loss to Batgirl (in the aforementioned Showcase Showdown) he claws his way through the losers bracket, defeating six opponents in a row en route to the final.



This is a picture of Lintinin watching his huge lead slip away to Particle Man.



This is a picture of a scheming, unworried Lintinin, who knows that Particle Man must beat him twice to win the title.



This is a picture of a weeping Particle Man after learning he must bowl Lintinin AGAIN, even after crushing him once already. Note the palsied grip and mirthless laughter of a broken psyche.



This is a picture of the folks in the press box, unable to comprehend the drama unfolding in front of them.



This is a picture of an emotionally stable Lintinin after he has made the decision to no longer acknowledge the Accuscore. His glacial windup and low-impact delivery are too much for the physically battered Particle Man, posting a tournament high of 179 in the final game. Particle Man is the runner-up, receiving a very appropriate "Bowling Grinds My Soul Down To the Pulp and That Is Why I Love It So" mug as a consolation prize.



This is a picture of Lintinin shaking the hand of Commissioner McCracken. Lintinin's early boast "That chart is going to look good on my wall at home" comes to pass. Spoken like a true champion. He also goes home with an oversized "I Hate Bowling T-shirt" similar to the one Condiment wears in his Ongoing Struggle With Mediocrity.



A good time was had by all. More to come.