CLASSIC ARCHIVE: THE FIRST MCCRACKEN CLASSIC

In eager anticipation of the MC5, here is a reprint of the MC1 Fable:

In February 2003 after several grueling nights in the Utah snow on "The First Vampire," the McCracken Classic was born. It was a 16 player tournament of rental shoes and house balls at Fat Cats in Provo (the legendary locale where "Lil' Lighting" officially became "Lintinin").

It was a competition stacked with the MC usuals: Sterling, Themule, Beefcake, Mumbly Joe (now The Condiment), Lintinin and McCracken, but it was the unforgettable bowling of a dark horse named E. Fudd that will live on in Classic lore. The lead-up of this story may be different depending on who tells it, but the bowl-tastic ending is always the same.

In the 10th frame of a semi-final showdown, Mumbly Joe finished his roll to take a narrow lead over E. Fudd: 124 to 120. With two rolls to knock down five pins and earn a visit to the finals, E. Fudd was up. Fudd was an underdog with nothing to lose; in fact, his only goal for the evening was to demolish the ever-antagonistic Script Supervisor Cop (aka SCOP), which he did in the first round. Two lanes away, Lintinin was smashing Frankler 162 - 116 in the other semi-final. Mumbly Joe was surely nervous that he had not created enough distance to meet Lintinin in the finals.

On Fudd's first roll he pulled down three pins, drawing the score closer: 124 - 123. Fudd confidently focused on his final task: dropping two pins for his third victory and a visit to the final. He approached, wound up, and at the point of release, slammed the ball into his right leg, sending it immediately into the gutter, while simultaneoulsy flopping into the lane and onto his back. Game over. Mumbly Joe wins.

In the finals, Lintinin bowled a tournament-high 165 over Mumbly Joe's 144 to win his fourth straight and capture the title of what was the first of four McCracken Classics, all in 2003.

E. Fudd was never seen again (not true).